Monday, April 09, 2007

Historical women to whom I would have given the business ...

Amelia Earhart: She was a definite hottie. And I am not sure what an aviatrix is into, but I'd be willing to give it a go.

Delilah: She must have had some...acumen, prowess, skillzorz....to get that much hype. Plus, what's the worst she could do to me?

Marie Curie: Possibly the smartest chick ever. That alone is hot, but she was Polish. I am of Polish and Ukrainian (and Italian) descent and find Slavic accents very sexy.

Marilyn Monroe: Trite, I know. But I feel my name should be tacked onto the end of the list that includes Joe DiMaggio, JFK, and Albert Einstein.

Dorothy Parker: Queen of all smart-asses! Though to be honest, the "honor" should go to Jennifer Jason Leigh.


Historical women to whom I would not have given the time of day...

Cleopatra: Slut.

Marie Antoinette: Drama queen.

Sylvia Plath: More baggage than LAX.

Joan of Arc: Sure, she was a saint. But she was French and lived in medieval times. Can you even begin to imagine what she smelled like?

2 comments:

pezda said...

Wait, you put Marilyn on the A list (not that I disagree), but Cleopatra on the outs based on promiscuity? Son, that don't make no sense.

Evil Genius said...

Norma Jean did what was best for Norma Jean. The Queen of the Nile was just a hoochie lookin' for a good time. There is a more than a subtle difference between hedonism and usin' what your momma gave you.