Friday, April 13, 2007

I Solemnly swear that I am up to no good...

How do you know when you are a geek? When you pre-order a Harry Potter book.

I used to have a direct pipeline through Red. She is the stand in line at midnight type. Prior to that I was on the cheap-ass wait-till-it-comes-out-in-paperback schedule. But I have been hooked since the release of Book 3, thanks to my identical cousin. And however many years into this I am now, I want to know how it ends before it gets blabbed on the Today show and every other media outlet. So J suggest I put my order in on Amazon and just trade in the hardcover for a few bucks. I took this suggestion, and when I saw how cheap it is going for it was a lock!

The big question is who dies at the end. It will probably be Harry, but I hope it is Hermione. (Emma Watson pictured above. You are welcome Jean Luc.) Not that it would serve the plot any, but because I would feel satisfied seeing her self-righteous know-it-all hot-but-not-as-hot-as-she-thinks-she-is ass snuff it in the end. I don't know, maybe I am just redirecting anger from some where else.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go off into the woods and tame my dragon.

Oh.. I almost forgot! For Grant, my best Harry Potter porn titles:

Hairy Pooter and the Sorcerer's Bone,
...and the Chamber of Secretions
...and the Prisoner in Assless Pants
...Gobbler of Fur
...and the Order of the Dominatrix
...and the Ass-Stud Prince
...Deftly Swallows

I know some of these are weak. Anyone who has any better ones, please chime in.

6 comments:

pezda said...

So my wife is two books back, and has somehow managed to keep in the dark about the demise of certain central characters.

I must go pre-order the book now.

egeg said...

I don't think it can be Harry. I'll admit that's partly because I don't want it to be, but I don't think there's a satisfactory way to kill off the lead character when so many of us have invested so much in the series. From a dramatic structures perspective, that would just be wrong. I think if it's one of "the three", Ron's the most likely target. It's also possible that HRH all live and it's somebody like Hagrid, who is beloved but ultimately expendable.

Btw, EG, there's something wrong with you for _wanting_ it to be Hermione. Yeah, that could be some redirected anger. Hope not too much of it is at me. I'd actually guess it's directed at those who dealt earlier "slings and arrows".

lulu said...

I vote for Ron if it is one of the three, although I would rather it be Hermione, and I honestly think that it is going to be someone less important. She could kill Harry, I guess, but I don't see it.

I have gone at midnight for my books since they started releasing them then. I went straight from a museum fundraiser one year, drunk and in black tie, that was fun.

Evil Genius said...

Pezda:

I am impressed with Legs' self-seclusion. I could never pull that off.

Red:

No, you're right. It's every other ex-girlfriend I am bitter toward. NONE of the resentment is toward you.

Lulu:

I am jealous. That sounds like a blast!

BeckEye said...

I haven't seen any of the Harry Potter movies, but I love making up porn names. Years ago, some friends and I actually made a contest of it, and I think I won with "Cootch Cassidy and the Pump-Ass Kid."

Evil Genius said...

BeckEye,

Thanks for the comment and welcome to my twisted world. I appreciate any comments from a woman who not only uses the word cootch, but also links to YEP 'nat.

-EG