Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Insomnia Chronicles

7. killing Andy Kaufman

4 Oct 98

It’s hard to explain how certain revelations come about, others are easy. The other day i hit my head really heard and everything seems to be focused again. Both literally and figuratively. I could never fathom or begin to explain how something so concrete and tangible could restore my sense of connectedness. It is as if a whole set of synapses got jarred back into place. And I remember Calculus now ( Oh, dx/dy! Of course!)

Now I need to solidify my physical image in my mind, and I think I’ll be able to escape all of the introspection, and begin to live my life again.

Speed Racer re-runs play in the background, and only now do I realize that this is my past, and I feel connected to it, but I now also understand that I am 25 years old looking into the past, and not a 6 year old looking into the future. I know that seems like a silly concept, but that is actually how I used to think. i am still disturbed by the self-defense mechanism my insanity built for itself. I was deeply convinced that all of my twistedness was the center of my personality, and that if i allowed myself to correct any of this I would become one of the dull boring people that i despise, but now as the clouds slowly clear, with my strong personality still intact, i am amazed at how i built my own flaws.

It has now gotten to the point where I can clearly distinguish my two lifestyles. There is the newly emerged clear thinking healthy interacting person that i am and was and always have been. but there is also the muddled thinking time wasting hermit man that i hate and has been dominating my life for the last year or so.

My new mission in life is to seek and destroy the mud thinker. I must kill my evil alter ego. Just like Andy kaufman in those Taxi episodes.

i gotta go now. i’m trhinking two much. i can already see too much bullshit in this.

Andy Kaufman as Latka Gravis (left) and Vic Ferrari (right.)


Grant Miller said...

What's that disease you get when you fall asleep everywhere?

Evil Genius said...


Boredom? Alcoholism? No wait...narcolepsy!


pezda said...

The Calvin and Hobbes panel reminds me of the Robot Chicken episode.

Evil Genius said...


Which episode? My household is cable deficient, so I am only familiar through secondary means.


pezda said...

Do a youtube search for Calvin and Hobbes. That's where I found it. It depicts the natural progression of the relationship between C&H.