Thursday, August 02, 2007

Hell hath no fury like a Ho scorned

OK Kristi, here you go:

So here is a response to the rest of your comment:

1. Bald guys make great cartoon characters, just ask Homer.

Thy will be done. (See above.) Mind you, I did not just "Simpsonize" a picture of myself, but drew this damn thing and colored in all the crap pixel by pixel with nary a Korean in sight. I did this just for you! Happy?

2. You can't be a Pez and have a friend named Pezda, that's dorky.

He became a Pez fanatic because of me. Just one of the many monsters I have created.

3. The background guys make the world go around, and the strong silent type is sexy.


4. There's no stopping some brat that wants to put say, oh, ORANGE pez in a Evil Genius pez dispenser so you can't say that you'll be a Cherry pez dispenser. In what Universe does that make sense?! Well, except for yours?

Has anyone else seen Stand By Me? And just so you know, there is no such thing as cherry Pez. That being said, orange is my favorite actual Pez flavor. ORANGE!

5. You'd be in a movie if you were a Simpsons character and I would have seen you on the silver screen this weekend.

They killed my favorite character! Why would they do that to me? Is everyone against me? Does Matt Groening hate argyle too?

Second of all, isn't it enough that every single blogger out there seems to be from Chicago, is living in Chicago, is leaving Chicago, or wants to move to Chicago? Join the bandwagon, go ahead. Just send me some motherfuckin' White Castles, okay?!Thank god you hate Steak & Shakes and got food poisoning, or this post would have been a total waste of my time reading it.

I am glad I didn't waste your time. That is the last thing I would want to do! Blogging is all about the most effecient and productive way to get through the day.

And I will bash Steak n' Shake with you all day long. What is up with the shoe string fries? And who actually eats those nasty little peppers?

I have a good friend in Fairplay who does improv in Denver, so Colorado is on my list of potential moves as well. But I have a substantial friend-base in Chicago, and I already know the place. (I lived there for 5 years.) Plus I would love to be Grant Miller's loud obnoxious neighbor. That is the stuff of classic sit-coms right there! I could be a melange of Kramer, Norton, and Larry from "Three's Company" causing Grant constant headache and hassle, while inappropriately flirting with Krista. All the while a revolving door of hot, disenfranchised art-school girls walk in and out of my house. (Always smiling on the way out mind you.) Is somebody writing this down?

So, I am sorry. I didn't realize there were right and wrong answers to these questions. Next time I will bounce them off you first. It is hard being everything to everyone, but I will try harder next time. I promise. Especially for you...and Tobiko.


GETkristiLOVE said...

Happy?! Yes, anytime I so blatantly right, I'm happy. I'm impressed too of your artistic ability. But, that's right you're a genius, so you probably did it in your sleep. I was a little disappointed that we can't see the argyle socks and Chuck Taylors on that dude, but I'm used to you falling short on my demands.

I did get the Stand By Me reference (when the kid is asked if he can be any kind of food, what would it be), but I was not aware there is no cherry pez flavor. I guess you pez dorks had the last laugh on me.

Luckily, I haven't been to a S&S in many, many years but I am truly, very happy they gave you food poisoning. It warms my heart to know that Indiana never changes, and at your expense is even better.

I frequently eat breakfast burritos at the Fairplay Inn on the way home from hiking trips so I'll keep my eyes open for any comedian types that look like they may know a Chicago-wannabe. I'm not sure who this Grant Miller dude is, but if my guess is right, it's like the mother ship calling you home.

Tobiko and I thank you for the post, although she wanted to say a lot more mean stuff. I didn't let her near the keyboard - this time.

Beth said...

Why are so many bloggers from Chicago?

You look kinda hawt in yellow ...

Evil Genius said...


As long as you are happy. And pleez, keep Tobiko away from keebored, K? thnx. ...Halp!1!!


Aww. What color do Simpsons characters blush?

GETkristiLOVE said...

I am happy because the Evil Geniusesque Simpson character rocks, and it captures your essence (from what I can tell by the few pictures I've seen). I think you should Simpsonize more bloggers.

Grant Miller said...

I'm writing all this down. I'd love to have a fellow blogger live in my neighborhood because then I could write pitjy little posts about them and not feel bad.

But I doubt I'd talk to you. I'm not the type that talks to neighbors unless I have to.

pezda said...

You know, we have Steak N Shake and Tim Horton's here, but no Eat N Park. Maybe these three restaurants cannot occupy the same city limits or the universe will implode.

By the by, last year PEZ released both cherry and rasperry flavored candies. Will post a PEZ post soon to vent.

Evil Genius said...


Thanks! I think I'll start with Dale.


You can write petty little posts about me now. I do it to you all the time when you're not looking.


It seems you have already posted this. I am glad you could vent on your blog. Seems odd, that you would choose to do that.


J (Son et Lumiere) ... said...

Didn't you and I draw cartoon charactures of ourselves all through out jr and sr highschool? Who remembers the lightning rodent?!

Evil Genius said...

Excellent memory! As you can see, this is based almost entirely on the same cartoon with a little Groening flair added. I like to express myself with flair. Don't you want to express yourself?

Big Orange said...

I like orange pez.

Evil Genius said...

I assumed you would. I was going to mention you after I typed ORANGE In all caps, but didn't want to steal any thunder from GkL. I am still on shaky ground with her.