Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I finally got hit on by a gay guy!

Some of you may be familiar with my odd desire to be chatted up by a homosexual man. Well, about a week ago it happened. And where did it happen? At a Catholic church function of course! (Why had I never thought of that before?)

I don't want to get into too much detail because I have a feeling I will end up being friends with this guy, but he approached me by commenting on my gaudy class ring. Now, I wear this ring primarily to serve that function of being a potential conversation starter. This was the first time it ever actually worked.

I have had bad experiences at these after-mass receptions meeting some creepy people, but this guy was cool and was an interesting conversationalist. However, after a while he did register a strong signal on my gaydar. Very subtle affectations, nothing flamboyant. But given the neighborhood in which this church is located, it was all but a lock.

After a while I was getting a little more than just a friendly vibe. I have been on the hunt enough to recognize the patterns. Again, nothing egregious, but I naturally kicked into defense mode out of consideration for him and made sure to mention that I was there to see my girlfriend* who had volunteered for the event. He made sure to leave off the "girl" when he mentioned already having met Red.

I actually blame/credit her. It is her preference for V-neck tee shirts that had me with one less button than usual buttoned. A very small tuft of evil chest hair was visible, which I am sure made her New Jersey heart melt. But seeing how that was the only thing out of the ordinary from my usual manner of dress, I have to conclude that is what did the trick. (Not very scientific, so this is a shaky theory at best.)

And it wasn't until I went back to recount this to her that the relevance of what had just transpired actually dawned on me. I was then beset with a smug grin for the next several hours. At any rate, as previously stated I am hoping this will result in a new friendship. Maybe some day we will all sit back and laugh about it while sipping martinis and playing Trivial Pursuit.

*As of this posting this is not an official status, but we are dating again.


BeckEye said...

I couldn't find the original asterisk in the text. Who are you dating? Red or the gay dude? Both? Either way, that's hot.

Evil Genius said...

I am dating Red, though it is a little like dating a gay guy. There's a lot of music theater involved and my family is still hoping it is just a phase I am going through.

FranIAm said...

There is nothing like a Catholic event for meeting "teh gays."

It is one of the reasons that I stay in church. After all, my husband never pays me those sorts of compliments.

Plus the whole fashion AND social justice aspects. It really works for me.

Red said...

I don't think the gentleman in question's affectations are especially subtle, but after spending so much time in the theatuh, my gay-dar is pretty finely tuned. I saw him again at a happy hour we had for people who had volunteered at this thing, and he referred to EG as my "friend".

Anyway, EG, I'm happy for you ;-) And for me 'cause you're straight as an arrow!

Falwless said...

Without sounding weird, I'm totally, totally hot for male on male action, so I'm quite disappointed in the ending of this entry, but whatever. I'll try to get over it. Next time there'd better be some slow undressing, or I swear to god I'll never visit this blog ever again.

That's a promise, mister.

3vil gEnius said...

Fran: A good choir director can make or break a mass. That's all I am sayng. (btw: When did you de-Simpsonize your avatar?)

Falwless: I fully realized that this post and all comments would lean toward the awkward. But I would be indebted if you could write a counterpoint to WILATU#24.

Pezda's Ghost said...

Being happily married these past 12 years, I've nearly completely lost the ability to tell if I'm being hit on or not*

*ok, being married has nothing to do with it. I've always been completely oblivious.**

**So, wait... After that party when that guy gave my ass a squeeze, no, he was probably just drunk, or goofing off, or something, right? Right?

SkylersDad said...

I am with Pezda, after 25 years of marriage, those gaydar signals just don't work anymore. I have always been clueless, but now am beyond clueless, bordering on coma-like.

pistols at dawn said...

First of all, why must you hate on my Cartesian doucheism? It is the only school of thought that I have invented to date, and now it has a 1:1 follower to critic ratio.


Congrats on the gay guy, though - I've had this lament often as well, but have yet to accomplish being hit on.

Congrats on the Red thing as well. You guys aren't quite Zach and Kelly, but you're not Lisa and Screech either.

Red said...

I French kissed Kelly Kapowski.

Evil Genius said...

PG & SD I think most men either of the type needing a sledgehammer on the head to be made aware of such things, or fall into the category of thinking that everyone is hitting on them.

Pistols: What would a school of philosophy be if there were no one to argue the counterpoint?

Red: You know I love it when you spit out my stock responses based on ironic tee shirts of pop culture references I am only even loosely aware of before I can even regurgitate them myself! Pavlovian conditioning is so sexy!

Pezda's Ghost said...

Hey, wait! Are you hitting on me?

Whiskeymarie said...

I got hit on by a gay guy once too.

Awkward. Very awkward.

FranIAm said...

Awhile back - I had to "out" myself as an actual human. I know, it ruins everything, doesn't it?

And you are quite right about the good choir director. We have a 65 year old woman. It is not good. And I am supposed to be taking over the liturgy committee.

So I will soon be in need of some gay menz....

Evil Genius said...

PG: Nods are as good as winks to a blind bat. Know what I mean? Eh?

Whiskey: Times like these were made for Taster's Choice.

Fran: Welcome to the fold. You are now linked.