Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Top 5 Topless Scenes (Future Retro Blogging - draft 8/19/07)

I worked up this post before I started Retro Blogging, but now (date posted) it has been sitting around so long, it is actually an older post. So enjoy this brand new old post.

5. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen - Uma Thurma rides the clamshell in a recreation of the Birth of Venus. For 0.75 seconds you can see nipple. There is not a VHS copy of this movie that isn't grainy from rewinding that 0.75 seconds.

4. Private School...for Girls! - Besty Russell as royal bitch Jordan who does a Lady Godiva just for some attention. There is something about a redhead with a spectacular rack riding bareback that you don't forget. This was a ridiculously bad movie and a USA UP All Night! staple.

3. American Pie - Shannon Elizabeth as Nadia the foreign exchange student pleasures herself as the male population of the school watches via webcam. An information age moment that pays tribute to the cold war era classics.

2. Animal House - John Belushi at his finest as Brother Bluto does some harmless peeping when Martha Smith as Babs returns from another unsatisfying date. His reaction (falling off the ladder) is almost as good as her performance.

1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High - Judge Reinhold fantasizes about Phoebe Cates emerging from the swimming pool. This is the gold standard, gentleman. This is flavor country. This is Miller time.


Anonymous said...

mmmm... How hard would it be to put the vid clips in here, I wonder??

Anonymous said...

what about the scene in Doc Hollywood when whats-her-name comes out of the lake while M.J. Fox just stands there, agape??

Better yet, why doens't anyone do that for ME??

Evil Genius said...

I have not seen Doc Hollywood since I saw it in the theater. I don't remember that scene, but I am sure it was great.

This is a forum for discussion, so by all means if anyone else has suggestions of exemplary naked cinematic breasts, feel free to contribute.

(As for the clips, I was lucky to find relevant stills for each of them.)

anandamide said...

...or how about Kelly Preston in Mischief?

GETkristiLOVE said...

Enjoy my new old comment: You must include Julie Andrews in S.O.B. That was an earth-shaking moment for me and I'm not even a dude.

Evil Genius said...


Thank Xenu you reminded me of that one!


She is a comely lass, and I'm sure she has an impressive display of power, but seeing Julie Andrews naked would just be wrong somehow. You know?


Doc said...

No really, Julie Andrews has nipples you could open a beer bottle on. I have to go with GetkristiLove on this one.


Evil Genius said...

Movies to add to Netflix queue:

1. DO Hollywood
2. Mischief
3. S.O.B. (though I am still skeptical)

deadspot said...

I think "DO Hollywood" is a different movie...

...and "rides the clamshell" sounds like a euphemism to me.

Evil Genius said...

I actually pay a team of chimpanzees to do my typing for me. The "DO Hollywood" perpatrator has been dealt with accordingly.

As far as euphamisms go, I balme GkL for corrupting my once innocent mind.

Johnny Yen said...

I watched Animal House maybe 15 times before I realized what had caused the ladder to lurch backwards.

Evil Genius said...

Oh wise and honorable Johnny Yen, I must praise and curse you. It had never occurred to my gentle mind before that both his hands were firmly gripped upon that ladder and some other intervening force must create the means for propelling him backward. I had always assumed it was the shock and power of her raw beauty, which is not incorrect - I had just forgone the underlying mechanical process. How could I be so naive?