I hate to toss around business platitudes like "thinking outside the box," especially when there is so much box involved in this plan. But if Bernanke can't figure out something a little more creative, he doesn't deserve to be Chairman of the Fed.
Here are the simple steps to my plan:
1. Capture digital video of Lindsay Lohan and her female DJ companion "gettin' their groove on."
2. Contract Diebold to create a hack-proof website that streams the video in a pirate resistant non-downloadable format.
3. Limit access to the site by requiring membership with a debit card account.
4. Charge $1 for each occurrence of viewing to these accounts.
5. Funnel these funds into a mortgage recovery fund.
6. Sit back and watch a growth spurt like none the world has seen before.
I know I would be spending at least $10 a day. And as this would be open to world wide access, so it wouldn't only be Americans funding this recovery. Germany alone could potentially contribute half of the $700B we need. Hell at the end of the day, we might even have enough surplus to pay off the war.
The only hard part is step #1. But it doesn't have to be like that, we just need a little cooperation from the patriotic LiLo. Now is the time for all good lipstick lesbians to come to the aid of their country!