Saturday, September 27, 2008

The EG Bail-Out Plan

I hate to toss around business platitudes like "thinking outside the box," especially when there is so much box involved in this plan. But if Bernanke can't figure out something a little more creative, he doesn't deserve to be Chairman of the Fed.

Here are the simple steps to my plan:

1. Capture digital video of Lindsay Lohan and her female DJ companion "gettin' their groove on."

2. Contract Diebold to create a hack-proof website that streams the video in a pirate resistant non-downloadable format.

3. Limit access to the site by requiring membership with a debit card account.

4. Charge $1 for each occurrence of viewing to these accounts.

5. Funnel these funds into a mortgage recovery fund.

6. Sit back and watch a growth spurt like none the world has seen before.

I know I would be spending at least $10 a day. And as this would be open to world wide access, so it wouldn't only be Americans funding this recovery. Germany alone could potentially contribute half of the $700B we need. Hell at the end of the day, we might even have enough surplus to pay off the war.

The only hard part is step #1. But it doesn't have to be like that, we just need a little cooperation from the patriotic LiLo. Now is the time for all good lipstick lesbians to come to the aid of their country!


cardiogirl said...

While I'm not into chicks, I have to say this plan is genius. I'm sure there would be a surplus of funds once things got going.

Way to creatively plan America's comeback!

SkylersDad said...

Provides new meaning to the expression "give till it hurts".

Brilliant EG!

Dale said...

I'm so glad the evil is alive and well and thinking hard about how to help. Genius, Evil Genius.

McGone said...

But based on this picture, we would be paying to see Lindsay having sex with Topher Grace.

*Looks at picture again*

Ah... that's a girl, isn't it?

Bubs said...

My God this is brilliant. Give till it hurts, baby!

Anonymous said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.