Thursday, September 04, 2008

Unproven bloggers, I judge thee!

"I judge thee" is one of my favorite games to play. All you need is a friend close by and some strangers slightly out of earshot and an the belief that you should be able to tell everyone how to live their lives. Fashion faux pas are the easiest. For example, you are walking down the street with your aforementioned friend and a particularly overconfident cougar passes you by. A few steps after she's clear you simply turn and point your finger in her direction and say in a righteous tone, "Fifty year-old woman in a lycra minidress with circa 1990 racing stripes down the side, I judge thee!"

You will initially think this concept is too cruel and in return judge me. Then you will be obsessed with the idea and have to try it out. You will become addicted and curse me for planting the seed in your brain. Then you will realize how petty you are and feel guilty about it, but by then your friends will be hooked and you'll all be doing it anyway. Then you will bore of the novelty and move onto other games like GRE (gay, retarded, or European?*) and FSL (friends, sisters, or lesbians?) which have even more complex guilt issues attached to them. Fun!

But hey, we can do this in cyberspace too! I have two new bloggers that have come to my attention. I am considering adding them to my blogroll so that I may pretend that I read them on a regular basis and hold them in some sort of regard.

First there is Hail to the Thief with her site Donny Is Smoking Now! She has the advantages of having one of the most brilliant domain names ever, already having added me to her blogroll, and having nearly perfect taste in music. I found her by way of my Sitemeter. No one is safe. There are no secrets.

Then there is the blog and blogger both known as Surviving Myself, which has the immediate drawback of not having added WILATU to his blogroll yet. However, in reading one or two sentences of his blog (which is more than I have read of your blog lately, and probably all I will read of his for a while) I get a good feeling that he is simpatico. He left a comment on my Desert Island Discs post. Comments are good. Hail to the Thief has not left a comment.

Feel free to weigh judgment on either, both, none, or any other blog that is or isn't currently on my blogroll. I will read your recommendations and take them into consideration for modifications to my blogroll. (Which may mean cutting a few of you who haven't been pulling their weight.)

Remember: if you're not better than everyone, then everyone is better than you!

*Combinations are allowed. (And before you go getting all judgemental on me again, I'll have you know that some of my best friends are Europeans!)


BeckEye said...

My best friend and I have a similar game to "I Judge Thee." It's called "She Needs to Put That Shit Away."

Flannery Alden said...

I will immediately begin playing this game without guilt.

I like to play, "I'm glad I'm not in that car!" when on the road.

surviving myself said...

I heard Surviving Myself was really, really, really, fucking good.

katrocket said...

Fantastic! I was getting bored of playing "tranny or fanny?", so I hope to start playing all these games in the near future. My friends will thank you too, because they're shallow and catty and really love this kind of thing.

Speaking of judging people who are in grave danger of being shrugged off a blogroll, long time no see Evil Genius.

Red said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Red said...

What you wrote: "All you need is a friend close by and some strangers slightly out of earshot and an the belief that you should be able to tell everyone how to live their lives."

What you should have written: "All you need is a friend close by, some strangers slightly out of earshot and [no 'an']the belief that you should be able to tell everyone how to live their lives."

Blogger who doesn't proofread as carefully as he might and who doesn't necessarily go back and fix errors after having posted, I judge thee ;P

Red said...

I can't make the comma in the "what you should have written" part bold for some reason, but please note that part of my correction of that sentence was changing the first "and" to a comma.

Hail To The Thief said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hail To The Thief said...

crap; busted
aha, thanks, I heard someone in the street saying it, perfect (we are talking about my weblink ?)
oh, yeah, musically I am pretty pleased with myself (:

Hail To The Thief said...

ah, no, I'm only 14, negative judgement will lead me to a life of drugs and prostitution !

SkylersDad said...

By posting a picture of a Trek novel (that I have read) makes me judge you as nearly as hip as me!

Evil Genius said...


Next time I'm in NYC we're playing!


A travel version! Why didn't I think of that?

Survivng Myself,

Who was your source? Are they reliable?


You think you can bully me into leaving a comment on your site? I am a Class A recluse! Plus I recently updated your link to reflect your actual avatar.

But I will admit that Flash game is phenomenal. I may comment just on merit.


I knew you would be playing "I Judge Thee: Grammar Edition" and proofread accordingly. I guess I am just not as good as you are.

Happy now?


Fourteen!?! I think they can put me in jail if I link to you!


That pic is there primarily for the benefit of a certain female hockey player. I have never read the book. Guess I have to keep on trying to attain your level of hipness.

-Genius, Evil

katrocket said...

EG - My love for you is strong. Thanks for the avatar update and it goes without saying that I'm honoured by your visit. You get 2 comments in the same post today. Huzzah!

lulu said...

We play a game here called "Gay or British?" but the only contestant is my friend Ian who wears pink pants. I am considering a new start-up blog devoted to him.

I usually just say "Major Glamour Don't" and put my fingers across my eyes to mimic the blackout strip Glamour puts over peoples' faces when they mock them in the magazine.

Evil Genius said...


I am practicing the gesture now.

To All,

It looks like there has been no negative feedback, so the new bloggers will be linked when I get around to it.

And even though there won't be any cuts, there may be some promotions. You'll just have to wait and see.


Anonymous said...

I think you should pitch "I Judge Thee" to NBC as their newest game show. It's the best idea EVER!

Or maybe you can have words with Judge Judy and before she gives her final judgement she can point her gavel at the people and yell, "I JUDGE THEE!"

GETkristiLOVE said...

So why am I a label on this post - because of my sweet, sweet Captain?!

Evil Genius said...

That is exactly why.