Saturday, October 18, 2008

Evil Genius checks his mail.

Wow, I got a lot of mail today. Let's see, professional journal. That goes right in the trash...

What is this thing?

Electronic postage machine? Why the hell would I need that?
Trash.

Strayer University. That actually makes me feel a little better about the unknown school I attended for four painful years. A little.
Trash.

No, I do not want to donate to the Salvation Army. But now I have the Sundays stuck in my head.
Trash.

Ooh, Netflix! Let's see what I got.

"Ice Pirates" and "Horatio Hornblower." And I thought they would be embarrassing! Whew!

My new copy of "The Week." That goes straight to the bathroom for contemplative reading later.

Comcast. Not likely. I've been cable free since '03!
Trash.

Order one fruitcake as a gag gift and you're stuck on the mailing list forever.
Trash.

Holy shit, this looks like legitimate mail!

Wait. What the hell? When did I order a plastic pig?
Trash.

Minnesota! Minnesota! Could it be? I hope this is what I think it is.

A picture of boobs! I love boobs! How did she know?

Hot damn! It is! It's a card from my blog-crush du jour, Whiskey Marie!

Pulp novels and pin-up girls! Please don't read the card, it's kinda embarrassing. I tried to cover up the more tawdry bits with the kick-ass magnet she sent me, but I still had to cross one more out. But that's the only change I made, honest!

Hands? I don't get it? Oh well, no one bats 1,ooo. But thank you so very much, Whiskey!

I shall give it a place of honor on my refrigerator.

Where it actually fits in nicely.

Now time to clean up the junk mail.

17 comments:

Whiskeymarie said...

Have I always had my own tag? This post made my day, maybe me weekend too- check back tomorrow.

Glad you liked it, hope Red did too.
Though, I must have been drinking when I wrote that, It normally takes two or three letters before I'm offering sexual favors...

XO

Whiskeymarie said...

my. my.
Me talk like Tarzan.

Whiskeymarie said...

Oh, and- give Fernando a deep, hot, loving tongue kiss for me. That's a demand- not a request- in case you're wondering. I know he must miss me by now.

I'm done commenting now.

SkylersDad said...

I almost panicked when you said you were throwing away Fernando!

Evil Genius said...

Whiskey,

Re: comment #1
No, this is the first post with that tag. I hope not the last.

I figured you were drinking as it seemed your grammar was stilted and you were choosing from a limited selection of words. In your defense it does make more sense when you see the rest of it.

The naughtiness does not surprise me. I have a natural tendency to bring that out in women. I believe they call it the kavorka.

Re: comment #2
We've been over this before: Me Tarzan. You Jane.

Re: comment #3
You are giving me commands now? Yes, Mistress Von Party Pants!

Evil Genius said...

SkyDad,

What's a Fernando?





(Shhhh! I'm just messing with him!)

Red said...

Whiskey,

We're cool.

EG,

Let's not forget who's running this backyard circus!

Beth said...

I want the pink pig!

McGone said...

Of course the pig's arrival gets trumped by Whiskeymarie Mail.

Dammit!

Evil Genius said...

Beth,

The pig is not mine to give.

McGone,

The pig almost got trumped by the Strayer University junk mail.

The EG.

Suze said...

I just got Strayer University mail today. I had to fight my husband over it as it was addressed to the "Work Professional" of the house. That's me right?

Evil Genius said...

I have always assumed you were a pro. I mean a working girl. I mean, oh forget it.

pistols at dawn said...

This is like when I get the mail, except replace everything you got with pink envelopes stamped, "Overdue: We Are Turning Your Power Off."

T.J. said...

New here, but among other things, I love the Garbage Version 2.0 cd in the photos....

T.

Evil Genius said...

TJ,

New people scare me. But since you like Garbage, I'll let you slide.I had pulled this out as a friend of mine insisted that Ms. Manson's phrasing on one track (The Trick is to Keep Breathig) was very close to the chick from Ivy.

EG

GETkristiLOVE said...

Dude. I so want that Pez.

小貓咪 said...

伊莉,伊莉討論區,伊莉論壇,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,plus,痴漢論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性愛,性感影片,校園正妹牆,正妹,AV,AV女優,SEX,走光,a片,a片免費看,A漫,h漫,成人漫畫,免費A片,色情網站,色情遊戲,情色文學,麗的色遊戲,色情,色情影片,同志色教館,色色網,色遊戲,自拍,本土自拍,kk俱樂部,後宮電影院,後宮電影,85cc免費影城,85cc免費影片,免費影片,免費小遊戲,免費遊戲,小遊戲,遊戲,好玩遊戲,好玩遊戲區,A片,情趣用品,遊戲區,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆,遊戲基地,線上遊戲,色情遊戲,遊戲口袋,我的遊戲口袋,小遊戲區,手機遊戲,貼圖,台灣論壇,plus論壇,plus,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性愛,校園正妹牆,正妹,AV,AV女優,a片,a片免費看,A漫,h漫,成人漫畫,免費A片,色情網站,情色文學,麗的色遊戲,色情,色情影片,同志色教館,色色網,色遊戲,情趣用品,情趣