Thursday, October 09, 2008

In Defense of Eating Out

This morning on the news I heard that anticipated lack of consumer spending is adding to the economic decline. A portion of this is reluctance for people to spend money on unnecessary items like new clothing and eating out.

As a single man I see eating out as an essential way of life. My mother is concerned about my nutrition and does not want to hear about me eating out. But it's not like I'm going to stop, I just don't tell her about it. Besides, I don't eat out every night. I take a break for at least a few days every month.

Most guys will eat out anywhere, but I tend to be more discriminating. Not to say I haven't tried a few places that I later regretted, but I am still willing to try new things. I once ate out at this vegetarian joint. People warned me that things would taste different, but it was pretty much the same. You never know until you try it for yourself sometimes.

There are apparently some guys who do not like eating out at all. I don't get it, what's not to like? Maybe they just aren't going to the right places. Don't be afraid to ask for help! Maybe you didn't get it right on the first try, but with a few pointers you could become a master at eating out. I know I can't get enough of it, and the women I have dated aren't complaining either.

Of course like most people I do have my favorite spot that I go back to again and again. It's just a little hole, but to be honest I am a lot more comfortable there and it is easier to just order the usual (which they always get right - juicy and pink in the middle.) I actually spend a lot of time there, sometimes I joke that I should get my mail forwarded!

Maybe you feel guilty about indulging. There are ways around that, though. Like this weekend I plan on attending a charity luncheon for the homeless shelter at the local YMCA. It is a simple menu that includes burgers, tacos, and pie. But giving really makes me feel good about myself. And for the money you can't beat dining at the Y.

Now don't give me that old excuse that you don't have enough time. You can always get something to go. Grab a box lunch on the run, and when get a free moment chow down on that box! (Well, not literally the box. If you eat the box it would probably taste like you were munching on some carpet!)

No more excuses! Everyone should try eating out more, married guys too. Just get someone to watch the kids and head downtown! And women, don't think I'm not talking to you. I can absolutely assure you that your fella would be more than happy to see you eating out! So come on and do something good for the economy and eat out tonight!

23 comments:

SkylersDad said...

Are you channeling Andy Rooney with this post? I can almost hear him saying all of this!

McGone said...

It's almost like you are trying to say something else. But I can't put my finger on it.

Red said...

Yup. I figured that was where you were going with that joke. The tag confirmed it.

Evil Genius said...

SkyDad: That would be stealing Grant Miller's idea. I try to limit that to once per fiscal quarter.

McGone: What were you trying to finger?

Red: If you needed the tag to be sure, I must not have been blatant enough. Though I don't see how that is possible.

Red said...

Oh, you've totally been blatant enough. I'm just a little slow this time of day

Red said...

Red is a lucky, lucky girl.

Evil Evil Genius said...

Other Red: As noted above, even though she may be intelligent, she is not that sharp. So as long as I don't come home with a blonde har on my collar, she probably wouldn't suspect a thing, if you catch my drift.

pistols at dawn said...

I think this may be blatant enough to be the much-anticipated triple entendre.

Evil Genius said...

You hear that, Pistols? That's the sound of the sophomoric humor envelope being pushed!

Cap'n Ergo "Carthage" Jinglebollocks said...

eating WHO out? That's the REAL question.

Evil Genius said...

Cap'n: I see what you're getting at, someone may take this as being risque.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Swoon!

Bubs said...

I am Bubs, and I approve of this message!

Red said...

I bet Miz Bubs does, too.

BeckEye said...

Guys who don't like to eat out are lame. Of course, ladies, if you want to lure a guy to dinner, you have to set the table for him, if you know what I'm saying. And I think you do.

Whiskeymarie said...

I would eat out every night of the week if my schedule allowed, and I expect my man to do the same.

I do so enjoy a good burrito or tube steak.
Yum.

Evil Genius said...

Bubs: Vote early. Vote often.

GkL: At this point I think I need to start looking up how you file a restraining order.

Beck: Variety is the spice of life. It is amazing what a nice table setting can do to dress up the same old meal.

Whiskey: I serve up a mean kielbasa if you're interested.

Leonesse said...

I'm with WhiskeyMarie and Beckeye. I am no sexist. I believe a woman should take out her man for a nice meal. Those Dutch Treats really have something on that one.

Red said...

Don't worry, girls. The EG _and_ his kielbasa are well taken care of.
Dutch Treats all 'round!

Evil Genius said...

Well, that just made it officially awkward...

Red said...

Yeah, maybe, but at this point no one's paying attention.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Yeah, nobody.

Pezda's Ghost said...

Eww.