Monday, November 10, 2008

2052: America elects its first cyborg president

By using my well documented knowledge of time travel, I decided to jump ahead and see what future elections held in store. Red will be happy to know that we elect our first female president in 2024. Though she is perky and optimistic, she did turn out to be a Reagan Republican.

Honestly, no other big shockers until 2052 when we elect our first cyborg president. His name is RA-1f N4DR, and he is an independent. I tried to bring back a picture, but I couldn't fit his hologram on my thumb drive. So I have represented him with this photo of Cpt. Picard when he was assimilated by the Borg.

While most Americans in 2052 viewed my fear of cyborgs as an irrational prejudice and a dated relic better suited for 20th Century cinema, there were other reasons people were outraged at the N4DR election. Chiefly that, although his biological components were born in the United States, most of his electromechanical systems were manufactured overseas. Even though he has had all of his foreign programming erased and replaced with strictly American programming, there are those that still fear he may have some hidden foreign agenda firmware.

Slightly less controversial is his opposition to the Canadian Enslavement Act of 2017. Some Americans in 2052 are of the opinion that the country as it stood was built on the back of Canuck labor which was an irrevocable part of American culture. Even though once economic stability was restored only the very rich kept maple leaf-branded slaves as status symbols, the historic relevance was what seemed to be important to these conservatives.

Despite all of this, the cities were plastered with bumper stickers and posters with the campaign slogan "N4DR: the logical choice." And there was ensuing pandemonium as 'borgs the world over celebrated their "victory." And the world at large seemed envious of our progressiveness.

Maybe I am old fashioned, but I am just not comfortable with the idea of that half-man-half-toaster sitting in the oval office. Especially if he is wacko enough to think Canadians should be set free!

10 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Could you tell me if they've changed the recipes of Snickers or Reese's cups in the future? They changed the 3 muskateers a few years ago and I'm just getting nervous. Thanks.

Red said...

You're a funny boy, Hamlet.

McGone said...

I, for one, welcome our new cyborg overlords.

pistols at dawn said...

He isn't going to go crazy and shoot at smokers, is he? We'd better start developing ED-209 technology just to keep him in line.

Suze said...

How did I look in 2024? I didn't let my hair go grey did I?

GETkristiLOVE said...

It doesn't matter what you think, you will be assimilated.

Free Canada! Bring Back Good Hockey!

Distributorcap said...

is bjorn borg the vice president - i am confused

Leonesse said...

I want some of what you are smoking. Genius. Pure Evil Genius.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

OMG 2052, I'll be 101, maybe its a good thing I don't anticipate being here then, but who knows...

AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/

Julia said...

I'm sorry, but was that a covert Battlestar Galactica reference there ('half-man-half-toaster'), or do my eyes deceive me?