Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Open Enrollment

I have added two new links to my blogroll. I am not telling you exactly who they are so you will be forced to scroll down and scan it for once. But I have decided that since I have the books open, I will allow for changes. If you are not happy with your rank, now is the time to speak up. If you want me to change your avatar, now is the time to speak up.

The more you link to me, the more you comment on my site, and the more you generally kiss up to me, the higher your rank. There are certain other factors involved, but the driving force is how much you stroke my ego. Remember that I am a hermit even in the blogosphere, so do not assume that I will see any sycophantic praise on your site. Be sure to direct me there via comment - or should you be so lucky as to possess my address - via e-mail.

Some of you have been poised to advance for quite some time now, this may finally be your break. I am not opposed to changing the long-held spots of my Bad Lieutenants & Femme Fatales. Now that I think about it, I may be open to dropping some of the dead-weight completely. There is an economic crisis going on, a reduction in Evil Minions is to be expected.

You may also elect to tell me where to stick it. Such requests will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Well crafted sarcasm may play better than compliments, though I wouldn't count on it. Of course I realize that no one probably cares if I link to them or not, let alone how or where. But my egomaniacal delusions are all that I have now that I sold what was left of my plasma on eBay. Won't you please humor me? Or at least get me some orange juice and a cookie. I feel dizzy.

26 comments:

FranIAm said...

Humor you? You're kidding right?

Uh-oh, I better watch my mouth, I will get kicked right off of that blogroll.

BTW, holy crapiola, that photo of WH is the awesomest of all awesome.

Evil Genius said...

Francesca -> Your place is fairly secure. Commenting first will negate the fact that you complimented the only photograph that Red took.

cardiogirl said...

Dude I have been working this site since I found you. Um, with nary a comment back from you at my pad.

http://www.cardiogirl.net

Hey, I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em.

And when you move my avatar up on that there blog roll, perhaps you could use my chick with the ponytail. That's how the blogverse knows me.

As the chick with the ponytail who loves Converse low tops. But if you insist on using a low top, try the groovy one. Or the anxious one.

I'm not always happy, is what I'm saying. And showing the happy one is false advertising, I think. I'm usually neurotic and anxious.

So to summarize, I look forward to coming back to a new avatar and a higher ranking on the roll.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Red said...

Hey, I also took the picture of the Watergate!

Dr Zibbs said...

This is me kissing up.

As for blogrolling.com it's been down for months. I haven't updated my blogroll in ages.

And when are you going to comment on my blog?

red said...

I love that you still have my old avatar up, but I think I should be higher on the list because I am redheaded. Or at least higher than Falwless.

red said...

Oh, wait. They're alphabetical. Nevermind...

Evil Genius said...

cardio -> I usually rely on my trusty Sitemeter to see who is popping in, but thanks to Google Reader and RSS feeds, many slip in under the radar. And since I have never seen a link on your site, I assumed you had wandered off. I will correct my error.

Red -> Don't think I won't bump you down a notch or two.

Dr. Zibbs -> You have a lovely and humorous blog. (That is me commenting on your blog.)If you get Falwless to come off sabbatical I will leave a comment on several of your posts. Otherwise you may get knocked back down to "Sleeper Agent."

Red2 -> They are alphabetical within the rankings. You could get bumped up from "Evil Minion" to "Femme Fatale", or if my Red keeps it up, you could make co-author.

SkylersDad said...

(kiss kiss kiss) that's the sound of sucking up right there.

Would you be so kind as to change my avatar to my latest of me running with my son?

Evil Genius said...

SD -> You got it , brother. I owe you for what you did for me back in Da Nang. (That was the best Pho ever! Excellent recommendation. I will be forever indebted to you.)

Suze said...

Hey wait, I thought I just had to send that check for $100 every month to keep on the blogroll. Now it's cookies and juice. . Damn it - you're tough.

Evil Genius said...

Ms. Sass -> cookies are always preferable to cash. It saves me the step of using the money to go buy cookies.

cardiogirl said...

SWEET!

And are you telling me I need to add you to my blogroll? Are you talkin' to me?

Because I really need to update that thing. I have some barnacles I need to scrub off and some gems to add.

One more thing -- it looks like you went alphabetical. I thought kissing up was going to win favor.

I'm not changing my name to A Cardiogirl just to get to the top of the list.

But if that's how you wanted to refer to me over here *cough* move me to the top *cough* that would be fine.

Evil Genius said...

Cardio -> Yes, they are alphabetical, but you went from "Sleeper Agent" to "Henchwoman." But since you have be driving the comment count up, I have now created a special new category "Special Agent" in which you come first alphabetically. I have also clarified each ranking with an Operative Level.

Congratulations, you not only moved up, but changed my entire blorgoll.

cardiogirl said...

Yes! Like a gathering storm I have created fury and change!

Henceforth I shall refer to myself as Special Agent of Evil aka Henchwoman. Love that!

Thank you for the dual (bows ever so slightly) you are a worthy opponent Evil Genius.

SkylersDad said...

Evil LT and a level 1 operative!?! Are you sure you want to do this, because being true to my Klingon nature means I am required to attempt to assassinate my Captain.

And I swing a pretty mean Batleth sir...

Evil Genius said...

I'll bet 20 Kwatlus on the newcomer.

WendyB said...

I can't believe that evil minions are being laid off! The world has really gone to shit.

Evil Genius said...

Where's my link back, Brandes?

Dale said...

I'm happy to be anywhere although I wouldn't consider this to be just anywhere. This is as much sucking up as I can muster, I'm far too busy doing nothing else but wishing I was as evil and threatening as you.

Bartender said...

I beg the distinguished evil gentleman's forgiveness. I was directed here by one of our patrons.

Why?

I am not exactly sure, sir.

Something about "perspective," I think. I wouldn't know. That's what the gentleman from Ohio said, sir.

The evil one is, of course, welcome to drop by to rebutt, or the gentleman might just turn the other cheek, as the gentleman might see fit.

I am sure the gentleman already knows how to contact me.

Bartender said...

Hmm...that would be: the_unusual_channels@live.com, sir.

Yes, I see what the evil gentleman means: Blogger can be a little bit sucky, sometimes.

I am sure they are working on it, sir.

I'll be looking forward to hearing from you . . .

Evil Genius said...

Dale -> Your loyalty shall be rewarded, Bee Boy.

Bartender -> This needs further investigation. I shall contact you after making some inquiries and doing some legwork.

pistols at dawn said...

As you've already noted, several Canadians here are attempting to infiltrate the ranks here. We must not allow them to rise above me, unless they're wearing a skirt and no underwear, in which case, they can climb the ladder directly over my head.

Evil Genius said...

P@D -> in your current position you have 3 ladies on top of you and 2 below. I don't think you can get much better than that.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

I will begin my sucking up immediately in hopes of making it into the next round of femme fatale open enrollment.