Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Exploring Other Options

I have been cable free since '03. I had a falling out with the now defunct Adelphi cable company in Chicago and swore off cable. That was back in aught-one. I was on the dish for 2 years and happy with that. I have been surviving off rabbit ears ever since.

Since I am still waiting for my phone and DSL to come back up, I decided to see if Comcast could hook me up before Verizon gets off their lazy ass. As I was checking out their availability in my area (I got an error on the results page - not a good sign,) they invited me to live chat with a representative. This is roughly how it went:

Comcast Rep: Comcast Rep has signed on.

Comcast Rep: Welcome to Comcast. We have great features, blah, blah, blah. Standard sales pitch.

Evil Genius: Evil Genius has logged on.

CR: Hello.

EG: Hi Comcast Rep

CR: What can I help you with today?

EG: I need phone and internet service.

CR: What Comcast services do you currently have?

EG: None. You suck donkey balls, but I am desperate.

CR: What is your complete address so I can check your area for service?

EG: 123 Fake Street

EG: Apt 1

EG: Evil Lair, USA 12345

CR: Please stand by while I check that address.

CR: Thank you for your patience while I check.

EG: Fine. I have been without service for a week and the phone company says it will be another 14 days. So if you can hook me up before then, I'll buy your standard bait-and-switch package deal.

CR: Great news! We have service in your area. Do you have a contact number where one of representatives can reach you?

EG: Can you get me service or not?

CR: If you provide your phone number a sales rep will be happy to assist you.

EG: Your phone number is right there on the website. I could have easily dialed it if I wanted to talk to someone.

CR: We can provide you with great offers if you are willing to speak to one of our sales reps.

EG: So why do you have a chat option if you aren't able to assist me with the same services as an operator?

no response.

Evil Genius: Evil genius has ended this session.

2 comments:

SkylersDad said...

You totally threw him off the track with that Apt 1 thing. We all know you are across the hall in 4.

But really, why the chat option if they are just going to say congrats, now go talk to a sales rep!

BeckEye said...

I like to enter those chats and ask the rep what he/she is wearing. And they always say, "If you give us your phone number, someone will be happy to call and talk dirty to you." Assholes.