Friday, October 29, 2010

Operation: Start Again

Why have I not been blogging? Do you not remember that I have been planning a wedding? Oh, you think this is the 1950's when the guy is asked to help pick out the china pattern and then all he has to do is show up? [wrong answer buzzer]

I have been busting my ass for the past however many months. I have spreadsheets like you never seen. I have picked out individual coloring books for each child that will be at the wedding, I have an usher assigned to pay off the homeless guys that hang out on the church steps. I have put 248 stupid labels on 124 stupid bottles of water to go into 62 stupid welcome bags. I have downloaded numerous fonts for the wedding program until finding one Red did not turn her nose up at. I created a save-the-date card that was so brilliant that a lot of people did not understand it. I created an awe-inspiring website and secured a pretty decent domain name for it. I have color-coded seating charts and reformatted them twice so my 70 year-old mother can see that I did not seat my aunt in some dark corner.

So now that we are at T-9 days, I have a few things which I have compared to being less involved than planning a wedding:

  • Mounting an amphibious assault campaign on Guatemala.
  • Earning an advanced degree in robotics.
  • Creating an exact replica of a medieval tapestry that can be carbon dated to no later than the 14th century.
  • Training cats to ride unicycles.
  • Making a stop-motion movie of Tess of the d'Ubrvilles using Lego.

Which is why I have named this campaign, Operation: Start Again. Though the folks at Zazzle uncoolly pulled some copyright bullshit on me when I tried to have tee shirts made.

I have my nieces taking video of the reception on Filp cams that I bought them, so I should be able to post some raw footage once we get back from our fabulous honeymoon in Bermuda! (Footage of the honeymoon will not be provided without credit card information.)


BeckEye said...

Wow, impressive. I kinda wanna marry you now.

Fran said...

Great. Great. You did it EvilGenius... You lure me to this blog and then make me cry at 6:45am on a Saturday? What the hell man?!

Seriously - I pretty much looked at that entire website and got all weepy 'n stuff. Sheesh. Motka boska, your power to control the mind is terryifying. Does Red know what she is getting into?

No honestly - I am trying to be serious, but it is hard when I realize that I didn't get a photo credit from you on that dang website. (*snort*)

You two crazy lovebirds are the best. Meeting you two years ago is still one of the best blogger meet ups ever. And not just because Von Bakonstein was there, ok?! It was you two.

Much love and happiness as the day approaches. I will observe a moment of silence next Saturday in your honor!

(It actually *is* our collective anniversary next week, in a manner of speaking... I met you guys on the Friday after election day in 2008. Where are the gifts for me from the registry? :-> )

SkylersDad said...

I thought the unicycle-riding cats were going to be the ring bearers?

I was so surprised to see you pop up in my reader, and i couldn't be more happy for you. Enjoy your wedding and honeymoon, and just remember to breathe!

Flannery Alden said...

You go, EG! I knew you could handle it.

And I agree: Amphibious assaults on Guatamala have got nothing on marriage.

Robin said...

Bermuda? Niiiice.

I am so sad we will not be there. Love hugs and argyle kisses to you both. I can't wait to see wedding photos and video.