Sunday, March 11, 2012

Inexcusable Internet Void: List of Bands Touted as "The Next Smiths"

I am now on my 16th Andorid phone.* I think, I don't have time to do an exact count. But I have long since abandoned my old XM/Sirius/Sirius XM in favor of just streaming Pandora through my car stereo (Rock and Roll Astronaut if you want to check out any of my stations.)

During a recent drive to/from work I heard a James song I wasn't familliar with. I clicked the info button to see if they said what year the album was from, but Pandora just gives you their bio blurb from AllMusic . The first line of which makes the claim for them as being poised to ascend the throne of Angst-Ridden College Rock. Since this power vacuum is a period I have been trying to explain to Red, I did a Google search trying to find all of the mope-lettes that Spin, Q, NME,120 Minutes, or any other quasi-reliable source declared as viable pretenders to the seat of Poet Laureates of Woe.

In all the Interwebs ain't nuthin' turned up except this great article about Marr's prolific post-Smiths projects, which is fun but not exactly close to the mark. So now it is up to me, as a Salford Lads' Club-certified Smiths authority, to compile this totally-not-just-pulled-out-of-my-ass, semi-comprehensive list to which all future search queries can be directed. Ladies and gentlemen-who-could-use-a-little-more-sun, I give you 20 years too late...

THE NEXT SMITHS:
-James
-The House of Love
-The Sundays
-The Ocean Blue
Oh, and probably the winner for all intents and purposes...
-The Stone Roses

Wow. I thought there were more. I wish I would have written something down in 1988, or made a mix tape, or saved some magazine clippings. My memory is shot. No wonder there wasn't anything devoted to this before.

Since that was so anticlimactic, let me share this clever 8 Bit Smiths clip my friend J sent me. I assume he made it because he is awesome and I did not read a single word on the associated website.


*By-the-by, although I have posted from one or more of my aforementioned 15 other Android phones, this overly-hypenated, linked, and photo'ed post was made possible by my so-cool-it-can't-be practical Lapdock do-hickey. If you haven't heard of these things, it is a dummy netbook you can plug certain phones into which turns it into a mini computer. If your immenantly-doomed workplace will expense one for you, you should totally get one. Otherwise, no need to bother.


5 comments:

dmarks said...

is "8 Bit Smiths" a reference to

1) low sound quality
2) retro Commodore or Atari computers
3) a band made of eight members, each of which has been chomped by a bad dog.

?

GETkristiLOVE said...

I don't know which is more disturbing to me - that there's a James song you don't know or that you don't have an iPhone.

Evil Genius said...

Mr. Dmarks:

The answer is #2 -It is getting at 8 bit processors. The sound quality on answer #1 would be incomprehensibly bad if not just incomprehensible. I would let you slide on #3, but Red will promptly let you know that would be 8 bitten Smiths.

Ms. Love:

Do you know who put round owl eyes on the butterflies wings? Besides, it turned out to be off an super early album pre-Strip- Mine.

I am not an Appple hater, but as far as the iPhone goes,I don't care.

Evil Genius said...

I forgot Gene!

Anonymous said...

Damn! I was just going to mention Gene. Maybe you could lump Blur or the Verve in there as well? ~Not Pezda's Ghost