Wednesday, March 13, 2013

History of My Fake Bands: Part 5 - Scarlett Red & The Evil Genius

I am not sure how you didn't know Red and I had a band. We have had several of our videos go viral as far as you know. Our first was the one the idea for the band came from. I was driving to work, which is when I have more ideas that I forget than most people ever have pop into their pathetic sub-genius brains. I wanted to cover "It's the End of the World As We Know It" at an achingly slow pace, but I needed someone to do the "time I had some time alones" and in general Mills down my Stipe a bit.

As luck would have it, there was someone I knew who could play a few chords on an acoustic guitar and actually sing. This someone was also a cute chick who happened to live in my apartment. Not the building, in my actual unit. So when I got home I sprung the idea on her.

She was more than happy to go along with this, but insisted we would have to cover some particular country songs as well. And not like Johnny Cash or Willie Nelson, modern pop-rock country. I am still not comfortable with that idea but for the sake of getting our new fake band off the ground, I consented to the hypothetical possibility of one day entertaining the idea of our non-existent duo covering some poppy, twangy schmaltz.

We had some other minor YouTube successes which we parlayed into a short-lived car commercial. By which I mean neither the vehicle nor the advertisement lasted very long. They skewered us at Pitchfork after that. I don't dispute that it would squarely be categorized as selling out, but it is not like we claimed to be the married indie-folk duo equivalent of Robert Zimmerman in the first place.

Now, we never officially split up, but as she is reading this over my shoulder I was informed of the following in roughly this order:

  1. Do we really have a fake band together? Is that all there is to these things?
  2. Do we even have a name?
  3. Why am I Mike Mills? I can sing way better than you can.
  4. That is not the name I agreed to. 
  5. Just leave it. That is fine for the blog.
  6. What country songs are we doing? I don't remember now.
  7. "Scarlett Red" does have a nice ring to it, we should go with that.
  8. I could sing the main vocals in 6:8 like Etta James's cover of the Stones "Miss You."
  9. I am going to bed. Don't stay up too late.

Now, I am not saying this is grounds for Creative Differences, but I think it is building toward a pretty strong case.

Scarlett Red & the Evil Genius existed from some vague point in 2012 to the present.

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